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Serial moms

The Managerial Mom

She appears to be an angry mom 24/7, as she holds down her children to their daily schedule with starchy perfection. She is at the PTA splitting hair with the teachers over her children's last test performances, she is there to pick up her older son from his sitar classes on the dot, she calls up her second son's cricket coach at odd hours (she does so, despite her son's obvious embarrassment, simply because she must act upon her thought as soon it strikes her).

The kitchen has a separate counter of health drinks and special foods for the kids, while there seems to be an urgent need to create a separate study for the children given the bountiful reading material. When left to herself, you will find her trawling the net in search of reading material designed to beef up their tutorials, for they dare not turn out anything less than an Einstein.

She is the envy of other moms in the neighbourhood. After all none of them went to Berkeley and Harvard, and then chose to become a stay-at-home mother. Some women bitch her out for being a control freak as well. Few get her (maybe her husband does, but even he cannot keep up with her pace) — she is a Naina Lal Kidwai out of her office space.

The Trophy Wife

She wakes up to a thick mug of protein shake every morning, stretches within the pool of the morning sunlight and turns to her cell phone to check her notes for the day. Her average day will begin with removing last night's make-up.

That is if she had an unusually long evening. Or else, she wakes up to the quiet sounds of the household staff busy at their tasks in the background. It's 11 am, the husband's at work but it is time for her chamomile tea. Most mornings she wakes up to inspect her porcelain perfect face and while stretching her manicured hands ahead of her, she ponders over her day's options: how will she skip her lunch date with her mother-in-law and check in for a quick foot massage (the vertiginous Jimmy Choo she wore last night has left her soles benumbed).

Then, there is the cocktail dress to be fitted, followed by that phone call to one of the city's popular curators to spruce up her knowledge about contemporary artists, given that they have to be at an art soiree following the cocktail. A crash course, nothing deep… that should help her tide through the evening. She still cannot live down the ex-wife's jibes on her frequent faux pas on horse breeds during her first polo match in Jaipur soon after her marriage.

The Dhokla Mom

She is Martha Stewart incarnate. She works hard for a living, but what is on the top of her mind is the food that she must put out on the table every day. The breakfasts must be co-ordinated – the carb and protein content must be in perfect balance.

Not a single spice that has been used for the breakfast (on the days that an Indian spread is put out) must be repeated for the lunch fare.

She shops on her way back from work, and will hurry to the nearest spice mart during her office lunch break to keep the fresh stock topped up. Nothing less than cuisine will do for dinner. And she takes umbrage at the husband and children's offer of putting out take-away meals occasionally. Her daily nocturnal ritual is to update her Excel spreadsheet on the contents of the larder.

Savita Bhabhi

She summons the plumber to her house to check her pipes way too often than is required in the household. Plumbers, salesmen and sundry errand boys drop by.

Young students in the neighbourhood swear by the way they came of age in her lap. Other women in the neighbourhood dismiss her as a tart of course, and yet others ensure that their husbands come nowhere close to her — not during the annual society function, not during Diwali celebration, not ever.

Even a casual greeting towards her is not allowed. Before 'Savita bhabhi' became literature, she was simply looked upon as a highly sexed woman, whose husband was away on work for long spells. Who cares about the snide remarks? Not Savita bhabhi, and certainly not her boys.

The Invisible Mom

She is caught up in her own world, but not in a selfish way. She works hard, makes time for her husband and kids, but she is not there for them all the time, pressing gooey cakes on them when they are petulant, nor is she there for every PTA or the frequent get-togethers at the in-laws.

Many festivals have gone by without her intervention in the family's festivities.She prefers catching up on Tumhari Amrita for the fourth time in ten years, rather than spending a tedious and predictable evening dining with the extended family. A lot of people call her the absentee wife and mother.

She is neither. She likes her space and likes giving the same to other members of her family, although she does nurse an ever so slight sense of guilt for not being there all the time.

The good thing is that the children are way independent ahead of their time. She cannot be anything else as she is wired differently. While she is well-oiled at the workspace, there is a casual laidback attitude in her way of functioning at home. It is attractive because her sense of pride in herself and her family is bigger than her guilt.

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